Three

Woke up this morning around 2.30am to feed Son. By the time feeding ends and finished expressing, it was past 3am. I plonked onto my beloved bed and desperately wanted an immediate shut eye.

But suddenly, out of no where, I remembered it is the 22nd today. 22nd of January!

It’s been 3 years?! Mom, you’ve got a grandson now.

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Documenting Baby Ben

I am so sorry WordPress.

I find turning on the computer a real chore nowadays. New mom’s time is so precious we use our free time for sleep, expressing milk and doing business in the toilet.

Your mobile app isn’t very stable (I keep getting no connection error from you) so I decided to move my daily happenings of Baby Ben to Dayre, a mobile app. Beerkaki at dayre.me/natalieyong.

Trust me, this decision didn’t come easy. It is not entirely your fault. I have changed. From an freedom seeking ambitious lady to a new mother, I needed something to suit my new lifestyle.

But I will not abandon you. After all, I spent my past 7 years with you. I may be cold at times, but I do pour out my inner most feelings and thoughts with you. You have been my pillar of support for the worst times.

I will visit you as often as I could. I promise.

Love-Hate Relationship

I currently have a love-hate relationship with my Confinement lady.

She has been an absolute help in taking care of the baby. Changing diapers, burping after feeding, bathing the baby, washing baby clothes, cooking my confinement food, cleaning the kitchen after cooking, taking the night shift with bottle feeding while I can have a continuous 4-5 hours sleep at night, etc. No easy feat I would say, particular when she bears the responsibility of a newborn baby in her hands.

I learnt a few tips from her in caring for the Baby, mostly old school stuff. Some tips I could not accept because it contradicts with the knowledge I gathered from books and the Google box.

With all the chores and responsibilities on her shoulders, I am very amazed by her ability to talk, NON-STOP! She is either chatting on her phone or talking to me while I am breastfeeding. Talking about other babies she cared for, how other mothers behaved, sometimes criticizing, or simply talking about herself. And she repeats her sentence more than once!

Perhaps it is her way of de-stressing or letting off her steam (I don’t know where she gets her energy after sleepless nights). As a first time mother, I love to cuddle my newborn. I love to talk to him. But with her constant presence, I feel uncomfortable, particularly when I’m breastfeeding. The bond between mother and baby is special I could not describe it here but imagine someone babbling away while you bear your breast and cuddling a fragile human being in your arms. You get the picture.

And where can she go in the house when I’m breastfeeding in the room? She is sharing the room with the baby, her bed is there, her personal space is there! She has no place to go except the kitchen and bathroom. Well, I thought of just tolerating it since she’ll be here only for 4 weeks. Perhaps its the hormone in play, I was pretty agitated in the 1st week that I needed her to shut up. I know I’m being emotional and may say something hurtful so I retreated. The next morning, I told her nicely that I prefer quiet. She understood……but only for a few days!! And she started jabbing away again. 

2 weeks later today, she is back her same way. And to top it off, I feel my every movement has been scrutinized and judged. It is like having a mother-in-law in the house!!

I now try to breast feed in my room, with my Hero delicately sniffing around the bed and standing guard.

I need quiet…..that’s the reason I changed my jamu masseur after 3 sessions. People need to know when to shut up!

 

Counting my blessings

It is boxing day!

Baby’s Day 16.

Still exhausted. Still tired. Still sleepy.

Can’t imagine if I didn’t have my confinement lady with me. I think I will suffer full fledge post natal mother syndrome when she leaves.

Anyway, just counting my blessings that:

(1) “Ang” has been pretty hands-on. Lucky Baby came year end that office mode is at its lowest with almost everyone on annual leave and those who are not, simply has no mood to work. “Ang” has been trying to clear his annual leave half day here, full day there as much as he can.

(2) Mother-in-law has been the most anxious person in the entire Grandson thingy. Though she can be over zealous in many ways, I am glad she is willing to offer her help taking care of Baby when I return to work. Nowadays, not all grannies want to do that, apparently, the silver population has evolved.

(3) Breastfeeding so far has been quite successful. But I don’t want to jinx it. Latching is pretty smooth. Supply came in fast and furious, so much so I wet my bed sheet.

(4) Hero has been a darling too. He kind of suffer a little attention deficiency but was pretty gentle with Baby. Sniffing Baby’s poo and pee all the time, and his head, licking at times. That’s the way he shows his affection. But he’s not been finishing his food of late.

OK! Got to go….I’m yawning already.

Last day before “Sleepless in Singapore”

Tomorrow is the big day.

Yes, I’m opting for induce labour. EDD was 15 December but my gynae will be traveling on the 16th so she suggested induced labour if I want her to deliver. Furthermore, I am already 4cm dilated for 10 days, mucous plug had also been released thrice, so I am all ready to deliver……just that apparently Baby probably isn’t’ yet. He is just taking his time…..like his father.

When I told my friends that I’m going for induced labour tomorrow, they texted “Why not on Thursday? It will be 12 December. 1212. Nice number!”

To that I replied “Tomorrow even nicer, 11.12.13.” And guess what my friend replied?

“Wah lau, then plan it to be delivered at 10am or 10pm. And since its your first baby, make it a Royal Flush Baby! 10am/pm, 11.12.13. 1st kid!! Swee!”

Well, I liked the idea! LOL!

There is a degree of anxiety for the past 2 weeks. Wanting the Baby to come yet clinging to the freedom at the same time. Worrying when there was no movement in the tummy, wondering if he’s still doing well in there. Went to Orchard yesterday to do some last minute shopping for my own CNY clothes though not knowing what size to buy. Surrendered after an hour of walking in Robinsons. Ended up in Mothercare getting a few last minute blankies, muslins, etc.  Went to one of my favorite Bak Chor Mee stall to savor the pork lard laden dish. And I’m contemplating getting a plate of Wee Nam Kee chicken rice later for lunch.

Just completed my resolutions for 2014. Nothing big next year. It is a year mostly dedicated to my Baby. A different life, but my life nevertheless.

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