Category Archives: 5 Stars & A Crescent

Change

I couldn’t sleep again….and this is a sign either I’m super excited about something, or something is really bothering me.

I think it is the latter this time.

I used to find Home as my sanctuary. Somewhere I can feel most secured, most relaxed, most comfortable. After 10 months in this new home, I still couldn’t.

I feel claustrophobic…..perhaps due to the low ceiling height.

I feel the unit layout design can be better designed…..HDB needs to look into this. This is the cause of many neighborly disputes.

Not trying to be elitist here, communicating with the blue collars neighbors can be an absolute challenge. It is like when Singapore tried to communicate to Indonesia about the haze and all Indonesia could reply was to veer the topic entirely way off that the Indonesian President had to apologise on his Minister’s behalf! How did our Ministers deal with bilateral issues like that?

I have always embrace change in my life in good stride, looking forward to a good challenge. Have I gotten older that I am resisting Change?

Anyway, come to think about it, 1 year had passed since I purchased this HDB flat, just counting to another 4 years…..

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Productivity eh?

The contractor, Poh Lian, placing itself under judicial management has been the talk of the town in the construction industry. How a 38 year old local construction company which sees at least 3 economic crisis in the past fall into a debt of 92 million? And this amount excludes potential liquidated damages claims.

Their H20 project by CDL has re-appointed Woh Hup as the new contractor to take over the remaining works.

Their Sophia Residences and Goodwood projects by Guocoland had re-appointed Lian Beng as the new contractor to take over the remaining works.

Their HDB projects, Senja Gateway and Segar Grove, are still in limbo.

Their MOE projects, St. Anthony’s Primary and Secondary are still in limbo.

Productivity much eh?

Distance

Still trying to get used to the new home.

The new home is situated within walking distance to 2 shopping malls, by walking distance I meant 10 mins walk, max. They are managed by REITS, so the size of the malls are pretty substantial. There is a library, Popular bookshop (which I often complained the lack of with my old neighborhood), Daiso (the $2 miracle shop), double storey NTUC, Giant, Yue Hwa, Best Denki, Watson, Guardian, banks, hairdressers, restaurants, food courts and the whole host of fast food and coffee joints.

There is also a tiny heartland mall just next to my new place which I can get the daily necessities. A 24-hour NTUC, a food court, bakery, clinic, optical shop, stationery shop, a 7-eleven and a row of ATMs.

I am still trying to get used to them. Truth be told, I drive to these places. I know, I will get stoned. 10 mins walk and I drive???!!!

Anyway, a couple friend who recently relocated back to Singapore from Sydney were hunting for a rental apartment. She told me she will be working in Botanic Gardens so they looked at apartments around that vicinity. They shortlisted apartments in Holland and Farrer Road and that they intend to walk to work, I lamented “Are you sure? In Singapore’s weather? Walk?” In fact, their tolerance level is 3km and they were used to walking in Sydney.

Come to think about it, I was used to walking too in London, a city where roads are so narrow…… But I was younger. Running for the train in heels was a breeze.

What spoilt me was States. Everywhere I went, I needed to drive. Then I got older.

With Singapore Budget 2013 announced yesterday, owning a car may be pretty far fetched now. Singaporeans may just need to switch their way of commuting to work using public transport and a car for weekend uses. That was what my friends in London do. This, may be the way we will be living from now on. After all, as our Finance Minister said “We are now a developed country.”

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CNY gatherings

In the midst of dust, dirt and sweat, I moved into my new apartment. Managed to prepare for Chinese New Year. The past 2 years of CNY was kind of a non-celebratory for me. 2011 was the passing of my mother. 2012 passed just like that, I couldn’t remember what I did. This year, my and my ‘Ang’ decided to go for more visitings and gatherings.

Among the gatherings of uni friends, neighbors, relatives, the White Paper keeps popping up. Discussion was most robust among our uni friends. I personally didn’t read in-depth into the White Paper but followed through in the media and newspaper. It is indeed a bitter medicine to swallow. Here are some of what our friends said….

“I asked my students about the White Paper and the first thing they responded was Migrate!” – Our friend teaching in a top secondary school in Singapore. These students are supposed to be the cream of the crop of Singapore’s future!

“Just doing grocery in Bukit Timah Cold Storage and Yew Tee NTUC will show the patrons disparity between foreigners and Singaporeans”  – Wife of a friend who recently shifted to District 9 enclave. Singapore is so small and yet if one is confined to the same few places, he may not know what’s going on in the next district!

“Found this condo development and loved the layout but their 3 playgrounds in the compound were all filled with Indians! All Three!” – Friend who had twins looking for a  bigger apartment.

“What will happen if businesses can no longer employ foreign workers? Will they close? Or will it just eat into their profits? Or if they really move out of Singapore (foreign owned companies), do we really want them to be here in the first place? Just leveraging on foreign workers and not on the advantage Singapore can offer such as stability, security, etc. I’m sure we have something other countries want. Cheap labour is just not one of them.”

“Would it be easier to swallow if we Singaporeans know that we are biting the bullet for Singaporeans?” – Echoed another friend

Among the 5 males sitting around the table. One is a civil servant. One is a teacher. One is a banker in a foreign bank. One is regional director for a US based MNC. One works in a SME. Plus their wives, I supposed this is a pretty good mix.

There were many more discussion which went on….like the entitlement mentality of kids these days which inevitably lead to our education system, the MRT saga, the ‘chao sng” CNB chief scandal, etc, etc.

The Ponggol East by-election was the funniest and most exciting conversation. Apparently, my ‘Ang’ share the same alma mater with Mr Koh Poh Koon, and when a few Marist alum sat down together to reminiscence the past, the jokes went pretty wild.

And as for me…….thinking…..a thought that I cannot fully erase.

My and my ‘Ang’ are finally beginning to entertain the thought of IVF. And all I could think of is this……..Do I really want to contribute 1 to the 6.9 million figure, knowing that he/she may need to fight extra hard with the “cheaper foreign talents”?

I can’t help but take 2 steps back.

I’m worse than those kiasu mother that I criticize. I worry even before I have kids!!!

Post Surgery Treatment

Tomorrow is the day I will be following up for a check up after the surgery.

On the day after the surgery, my doctor came up to my bed while I was still quite sedated after a full blown GA. She told me what she had found and showed me the photos taken.

2 ovarian cyst, 2 fibroids and some endometrium blood adhesions.

The one that caused me extreme pain was a burst cyst that became a haemorrhage. I had a history of endometriosis. This is my second laparoscopy.

The doctor seriously advised me to consider one of the following options as treatment:

  1. To get pregnant
  2. To go through a 6-month hormone therapy

Both options are to stop menstrual cycle so that the roots of the endometrium blood cells shall forever and ever be destroyed! Menstrual discharges feed endometriosis. There is only that much laser laparoscopy can do in order not to burn off too much of our tissue.

2 years ago with my 1st laparoscopy, our decision was for me to get pregnant. But I didn’t, simply because we did not put in any effort whatsoever.

Now, the same 2 options remain. My doctor had been broaching on the topic of IVF for a year. She is not an IVF specialist so she recommended other doctors. I didn’t think she is all out to make money from me. She is one of the most purist doctor who cared about patients more than making money. I had been thinking about the options ever since I was discharged.

Yesterday, I needed some air and went to Vivocity. I went before lunch madness and had Soup Spoon, checked out the new Franc Franc, browse through Uniqlo before I got tired and had a cup of Chai latte at Coffee Bean.

Sitting there, I saw ladies with their baby prams dolling their baby/toddler in designer garb, enjoying some off peak shopping during this GSS and catching up with fellow mothers.

I also saw ladies my age bringing their parents out for a meal and walked along the promenade facing Sentosa.

I was still pondering with my previous post whether I should just slow down with work and take it easier.

Then I thought “For what? I don’t have kids or parents to spend time with!! So, I might as well just work, right?”

Then, as if my doctor appeared as a little Angel/Devil in my head, it said “Go have a baby!”

I sat there, sipping my cup of Chai latte……..and started to CRINGE!

The very thought of having a baby tires me.

Is it the comfort of my current lifestyle that I am resisting another possible human being coming into my life?

When I got married 5 years ago, I immediately wanted a baby. It didn’t come.

And 5 years later? I’m really leaning towards having none. I have been running the logic of “Why have a baby?” in my mind and the more it runs, the more I’m leaning towards none.

Then, at that very moment, my Whatsapp Group Chat starts beeping. Its my 2 married but childless neighbors. So, in the fit of thought processing, I asked them about their opinions of having kids.

Our womanly texting cannot be fully summarized here but we touched on societal pressures, in-laws, fear, old age, Singapore social construct, our the other half, etc, etc.

And in conclusion, one of them took her 8 married years to lean towards having ONE kid!! The other is completely and wholeheartedly freaked out by a kid and she plans to check into an assisted living facility in her old age.

So, out of 3 people, 2.5 is anti-baby. LOL! Doom shall befall Singapore!

Having a baby is a huge topic and it cannot be covered enough or fairly here. But whatever it may be, I ask myself, not anyone else, “Do I want a baby? Do we want a baby?”

Anyhow, baby aside, I think I am going for the 6 months hormone treatment.

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