Anticipation and other shite

Here I’m sitting in my Study room trying to complete an evaluation report on who to recommend the construction project to. And all I can think of is to disqualify all the tender submissions! Why can’t people follow instructions in the tender specifications?!

I am fortunate enough to be able to work from home 3 weeks prior to my delivery date, yet I am wasting time googling nonsensical stuff like e-shopping for bikinis. Don’t ask me why, I can’t even swim properly. Straight away my mind brings me to the newly minted stretch marks on my tummy and the celluloid infested thighs, I gagged.

My forever operationally ready “Ang” had been asking me:

‘Is the hospital bag packed?’

‘Have you determined the pediatrician already? Is it 24 hours?’

‘Have you called the confinement lady to remind her of your due date?’

‘Have you bought all the stuff you need?’

Perhaps coupled with my inability to sleep at night, I get restless in the day.

I try to do some baking at home just to occupy some of my time at home.

I finally traded my 2 door coupe with my brother’s MPV. My ‘Ang’ had been so diligently making sure all is fine with the car and even fitted the infant car seat in the car already!! He even asked me to maintain at least a half tank full of petrol. He doesn’t want to run into an empty tank when we need to rush to the hospital.

My mother-in-law is making her “trial run” to my home via public transport so that she knows how to come to my place if no ones drives her. She is my point man for buying fresh fish and confinement food from the wet market.

Thanksgiving Day. I have always had a liking to this holiday. It is so meaningful. Historically a day to give thanks to the harvest, I thought it is a good practice to continue giving thanks to what we have achieved nearing the end of the year. Since Thanksgiving falls on the 4th Thursday of November, I thought it is a good  and appropriate time to reconcile those resolutions made at the beginning of the year. A time for reflection, for gratitude. And that leads to making new resolutions in December for the next year. Celebrate, rest and have a great time during Christmas!


Pregnancy Rants

By this time, most of my friends got news of my pregnancy. Blessing came pouring in through FB and text messages, from friends living overseas, from friends I have never seen in probably more than 10 years or more.

At 38, most were extremely and genuinely happy to hear that I am pregnant. And I receive their blessing with thanks.

My new neighbour whom I barely know for 10 months lamented “Finally lah, you waited so long”. Wait…..Where did that come from?

Then, I have ‘long lost” friends offering me tonnes and tonnes of advice.

“Don’t forget Cordlife, Must Must Must get it”.

“Don’t Gei Kiang, use epidural hor.”

“Kids complete your life”


Guess you know where this post is heading …….

Pregnancy is the single, biggest womanhood contest of them all!

Is there some kind of up-womanship going on here? Who can tahan life’s worst worst pain? Going for all au-naturale labour is the top prize and you shall carry that champion trophy for the rest of your life! (Even if your child turns out to be a brat!)

My friends who know me would either (1) know me, (2) they are mature friends, or (3) had been brushed off by my direct response that they shall never offer any more advice whatsoever. My post on rebuttals.

I really don’t have the heart to rebut these “long lost” friends until the last draw of “Kids complete your life”. I just couldn’t stop my fingers from typing “Complete BULLSHIT” on the iPhone in response!!! To these people, I am so sorry for you, you had such low self esteem! I don’t need a man, or marriage, or kids to validate my existence.



Halloween and Fear

Was chilling with 2 friends yesterday and we chatted everything under the sky especially after 8 pints of beer among the two. I was having apple juice!!

One question popped up. What are your fears?

I took a while to digest……

My mind ran through several things, my ‘Ang’, my money, my possessions, etc……

My reply came with “If I loose my ‘Ang”, my house, my money and left with nothing that I need to depend on payouts from the government, that will be fearful.”

My friend, T, quickly interjected: Is that all? House and money?

BK: It is the loss of  pride that I am afraid, perhaps. The money and house are simply indicators. And actually, if anyone can verbalise their fears, does it still consider as a fear?

T: My biggest fear is that someone now comes along and offer me a corporate job, earning easily say $7-8K a month.

To give some perspective, T left his high flying job in a MNC to be an entrepreneur, a complete loss of stable income. And if I may add, 9 out of 10 aspiring entrepreneurs fail. T’s entrepreneurial efforts are not seeing much light at this moment. So the temptation of going back to the corporate world is luring. It also means that he had failed to fulfill his dreams.

So in the spirit of Halloween, what are your fears in life?

Eat List

People always ask preggies if they have any cravings. For me, actually I’ve none.

But I do have a Eat list after I pop, or at least I stop breast feeding

Genmaicha tea
Laksa with hum
Char Kway Tiao with hum
Oyster omelette
Maggie mee


Post Update: Additional items to the list:



Bad Parenting

As the due date draws nearer and nearer, somehow, my brain is wired to recall all the bad parenting my mother had on me! WTF?

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